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Your Innovative Voice

 

It’s been a few months since I have last posted. I had been in a writer’s deep dive immersion exploring, synthesizing, and calibrating my innovative voice. Now I am thrilled to reveal what I have learned about my process with the hardworking men and women that desire a solution to their doubt and fears.

The Harvey Weinstein scandal has been currently front page news for a few days. This scandal reminded me years ago when I was 19, I worked as a waitress. I remember I had to fight to be heard when a restaurant manager would put his hands on my body even after I told him no, chased me into a freezer to try kiss me, and stalked me outside of the restaurant. I complained loudly and fiercely to the owner, promised the manager that the police would be called if he didn’t stop, and eventually he was fired.
I was also told by the owner I was too dramatic because I complained too much. Come again? I stopped a predator and somehow this is my fault? This is another reason why some women and men don’t come forward because we often put other’s needs before ours. We learn from experiences that “teach” us to be more compliant in the workplace, demand cool and calm professionalism (never get excited if a crime is in the process of being committed), and you can always quit if it’s “too bad.”

I was very clear at 19 that no man had the right to touch me, my father was at home dying of terminal disease, and my mother lived in another state. My co-workers simply avoided the conversation and said to just stay away from him (the manager).
How long could I really be invisible at work? How long can anyone avoid a predator they work for? That’s not realistic. That’s not a plan and it’s by no means an innovative solution. I didn’t exactly have an ideal support network, there was no human resources, no advocate, and no mentor.

However, I did know that what he did was wrong and it was up to me to take care of myself. The owner seemed unconvinced in the beginning, so I convinced him. Did I forget to mention the manager had a sexual assault conviction and he was out on probation? We (the hostesses, waitresses, or kitchen staff) the women of the restaurant were never told before he was hired. I was told 6 months later after he was arrested for violating his probation that he had harmed another woman. I took no joy in hearing that news.

Brené Brown, author & researcher reminded us that the base for the word of courage is Coeur or Heart and in order to live courageously it means to live wholeheartedly.
I have learned to stand up myself and sometimes in very dysfunctional professional settings in my career. I also earned the reputation of a loose cannon, a drama queen, or a noisemaker in those arenas. Why? Because if the squeaky voice gets the grease it also gets the blame.

I’ve learned to address my tone so it’s more professional (who hasn’t had to improve their sense of professionalism and communication). I’ve also learned what my triggers are before I become “upset.”

Lastly, most importantly I’ve learned to value and appreciate my voice, my whole voice. My voice is courageous, kind, wise, and encouraging. I also accept full responsibility for my actions and apologize when necessary. That is difference between a loose cannon, a drama queen, or a noise-maker vs. a professional. A professional seeks improvement and doesn’t complain because it’s fashionable. This is where my innovative voice has been integrated in my mind, my body, and in my life.

My innovative voice happened because I was able to calibrate my mind to my heart and the results are amazing. I no longer struggle with guilt, old tapes of good girls stay quiet and don’t raise their voices, or feel powerless like nothing is going to change.

Innovation is often seen as a new way to solve a problem that is remarkable and simple. Yes! I quite agree my innovative voice knows what it wants to say and how to say it! I no longer struggle with how I can make everyone like me when I have unpopular news? How can I defend myself when someone tries to gaslight me or bully me?

I now understand that I struggled with two issues 1) what I know needed to be said and 2) how could I effectively be heard and seen? I learned that the sound of my voice as I have been told is comforting, delightful, and thoughtful. I have also been told I am enthusiastic, hilarious, with a keen intellect. Lastly, I celebrate that I am courageous and innovative enough to find my balance.

Let all of us seek our balance so we do not swallow our pride, hide out of fear, and believe that we must endure what’s clearly a problem.

How to Reset your Career in times of Layoffs

Have you ever been laid off? If you have or feared you might be it’s often the most devastating professional experience you can have.

One of my clients expressed to me that getting laid off wasn’t a good thing. She said it was like “being thrown into a murky red sea filled with sharks and monsters.” She wasn’t sure about what was safe, what would make her ok, or what else she could do?

If you are like some Americans they live paycheck to paycheck and a layoff with some notice is helpful, but most are laid off with less than two weeks notice. This is frightening!

What do you tell your creditors, your friends, and your family? Where to start to pick up the pieces?

Here are some tried and true things to remember during a layoff:

1) Remain professional AND don’t burn any bridges. This is not the time to tell people what you really think of them in person or on Social Media. If you can thank your prior employer and co-workers for the experience, this is good enough.

2) Ask for contact information and reference information from your coworkers and the company. You will need this information for your next job and once you remember step 1 to be professional it will help.

3) Consider lateral transfers, both permanent and temporary. If you are able to negotiate your layoff by accepting a different position in the company or a temporary place do if you prefer to have more time at your current employer.

4) Remember to run a cash flow analysis of your funds.

So then what?

In my opinion, this is where the real work begins. Yes if you are willing, able, and the opportunity presents itself you can accept temporary work assignments for as long as you need to.

However, what does it mean to restart your career after a layoff, just work for the other companies’ competitor? Or does it mean you find what makes you spark?

Here are some important steps to find your spark?
1) Get clear on what you don’t want with your next permanent assignment or position. That’s really the most important first step. Many times we try to “go for the gold” position and quite frankly we aren’t always ready. We aren’t ready because sometimes we try to bargain with our fears if we are really worthy of the gold position. This comes across sometimes as we don’t know what we want and we remain uncertain. The best way to deal with uncertainty is to accept it as a moving state and focus on for sure we don’t want the following things.

For me, when I was laid off I didn’t want to work another supervisor that I didn’t trust. I was laid off same day with no pay, no prospects, and no contacts.

I wanted to be able to feel and see their support as a manager and anytime I felt it waned I looked for another job. Guess what? That has never happened I have never been laid off again because I learned that as soon as my supervisor’s support waned it was time for me to move on.

2) Get clear on what you do want. This is when creating a list of needs, duties, and FEELINGS of what you desire is good. The feelings are the most important because if you can’t feel what the new will be like go back to what you don’t want. a kernel of truth will show up and that’s what you want to focus on.

3) Start to evaluate and utilize what you do have. This means evaluate your resources. Review your contacts, skills, talents, and motivation. This will help formulate your choices. When I was laid off with no warning I was on my phone before I hit the parking lot calling and texting friends for support, reaching out to see if they knew of any jobs in my field, and how would they describe me as a job candidate? Because right then I couldn’t think of myself as marketable. Within 48 hours, everyone I knew had contacted me given their support, made suggestions, looked at my resume, took my resume to their bosses, offered up leads, and then asked the most important question, “What are you going to do?”

4) It is our choices that define us not our abilities. Do you know what my answer was? I have a new job right now! It was that simple and it worked!

But what about Shock and Grief?

Any kind of transition in our lives requires reflection and time to process. The important thing to remember is once the basics are handled never forget your choice to stay committed to yourself. You can work “doing a job” while you learning to delve into your passion. Most folks I have met it takes them sometime to figure out what they really want to do with their careers and their lives. Part of the reason for the layoff is to call to your attention this isn’t working and what else could I be doing?

I coach women daily on how to cultivate their enthusiasm and desire so they can find their strengths, use their talents and gifts at work and in life.

If you would like a free 30-minute consultation please feel free to connect with me at http://jeanniedougherty.com/contact/.

3 Keys to Calibrate Your Enthusiasm

Do you wake-up day after day feeling bored, exhausted, tired, or just plugging along? Do you try to feel enthusiastic in front of your boss or in front of your employees? Have your mastered your faux enthusiastic smile?

I used to be like that I was so disconnected from my enthusiasm that I would go to bed with a headache and wake up after little sleep with dread. I had on-going disappointment in my team and in my leadership. I wouldn’t just sit there and bite my lip fearing I would scream, “ I quit.” I came home moody and irritated exhausting my family with my on-going work problems.

Enthusiasm for your work is a necessary ingredient in order to be (not just feel) HAPPY! Enthusiasm provides more fuel for your day! Enthusiasm can get you noticed for great timing, for star leadership, and excellent creative solutions in a time crunch. Why don’t more people express their enthusiasm?

IT’S A RISK!

It’s a risk because you and your work would have to be in alignment. How do your begin this path of mastering yourself at work?

Here is a question I never thought to ask myself, was my enthusiasm totally calibrated to my desire? Remember that juicy, meaty, I don’t want to take just one bite word? DESIRE, DESIRE, DESIRE!!! I clearly wanted to do a good job and I was willing to work for it! Yet, my desire to do well and my actual experiences were off-kilter. Desire is a powerful manifestation tool. The amount of desire calibrates your enthusiasm determines your outcome.

I desire.. is a word stem that can actually start to fill you up on the inside. Can you imagine starting your day with I DESIRE instead of I WISH?

I’ve learned that allowing for my desire to come forward is an excellent way to determine my DESIRED gifts and talents and how I choose to use them. One of my huge frustrations was I had to put out someone else’s on-going fires, miscommunications, and failings.

3 keys for desire to fuel enthusiasm

1) When I transform chaos into control and clarity for someone else, how does this affect me? Do I feel like I enjoyed it? Or does it weigh me down again?
The answer is I have enthusiasm for some chaotic things, situations, and people! These people and situations that I do have enthusiasm for are challenging, exciting, and I learned from the experiences too.

2) When I communicate with my colleagues, my clients, and my supervisors do I feel understood? Can I also empathize with them without judgment? The second one is very important if I’m having trouble with empathy. This means I’m not feeling a clear and balanced connection. A lack of clarity in communication means I can’t see the forest through the trees and this usually creates it’s own added chaos.

3) When I am on purpose with my enthusiasm, my clarity, and my communication has profit increased? The answer is yes because if it’s not let’s go back to the first and second keys. I have had great potential clients that won’t hear me, there is no profit for either one of us. So they continue their problem with no changes and no solutions. Or I notice I’m having trouble connecting to them. I’ve had business deals that were fantastic on paper, started out great, and were total hell to get to the end, with minimal profit or a loss. I have also had challenging clients and enjoyed the entire process while developing a long-term relationship with them. That’s because there is a pattern of trust and a pattern of profit.

I coach women daily on how to cultivate their enthusiasm and desire so they can find their strengths, use their talents and gifts at work and in life.

If you would like a free 30-minute consultation please feel free to connect with me at http://jeanniedougherty.com/contact/.

DO YOU WANT MORE IN YOUR CAREER?

Daily I speak with women in the workforce and daily I hear about how they want more in their careers. Not all women feel valued for their work. Why?

I have found working women try their best to manage themselves, their families, and their careers. They often don’t feel successful because of their time management, delegation of duties, and resources. “Oh well” you might say, “ That’s a first world problem.”

Problems are problems and when they aren’t addressed they don’t go away.

What do professional women really want?

VALUE- they want to be valued when they contribute, pick up the slack, and find a way to make it work. Nothing is better than then seeing a professional woman light up at work because what they did MATTERED and it was ACKNOWLEDGED.

When was the last time you felt valued at work? Were you just given an atta-girl or did you receive a financial reward, like a bonus? There is a great deal of professional research that shows that there is still gender pay disparity, which includes bonuses. This is a sobering fact for professional women. I also suggest not overlooking this nor be defined by this result.

Value starts with not only how we see our gifts and talents but also how we USE our gifts and talents. When professional women know what are their gifts and talents and how to use them they cannot be compromised or overlooked.

CERTAINTY- Professional women want to enjoy certainty, not necessarily control. Come again? Truth! Professional women want to know they will have paid opportunities because they believe in themselves. That sounds simple enough! Let’s read The Secret or invest in some Affirmations. Wait! Why isn’t that working?

Certainty is a challenge when you are filled with DOUBT. If you are up at night and filled with doubt about your abilities, work, management, you’re friends, and your family, it’s hard to imagine anything else but the current fears.

For many professional women this means a steady diet of releasing their doubt while replacing it with certainty and trust. That is commitment! Something doubt may tell you, you can’t do because of A B and C reasons.

RISKS- Yes professional women desire risk! Why should then men get to be risky ones and we just stand back and support his risks and dreams? Every woman knows that behind a great man is a greater woman. Well then if we are greater why can’t we take risks?

Risk can be measured or calculated or they can just be impulsive. Isn’t great to know we as professional women can decide for ourselves how we want to experience or create risk. Mitigating risk is only one side of a coin. Please know that if you spend your whole life playing it safe you could feel bored, lonely, and bitter because you don’t feel truly alive.

I have clients that from late 20’s to mid 50’s that seek to make changes in their professional lives because they know it’s time to be valued, certain, and risky.
If you would like a free 30-minute consultation please feel free to connect with me at http://jeanniedougherty.com/contact/.

How to Succeed By Being Your Best Self at Work!

Work is an important part of our lives and according to Steve Jobs, ” Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” Truth!

But what about co-workers, you know the difficult, the challenging, the annoying, and the complaining co-workers? How do sophisticated, heart-centered, fun, hardworking, woman go to work with all of these folks?

I have found there is a very large difference with job duties and the quality of other women workers that can make all the difference whether you remain in your current position, current company, or career path.

Years ago I was assigned to a team of women because it was thought we would be better analysts and communicators than the men. I soon discovered there was hierarchy that the self-imposed queen wanted servants and not peers, professionals, or colleagues. Her years of knowledge and experience weren’t that much more than anyone else but not to her, sound familiar? I don’t know about you but I consider myself to be a performer in my own right not better than anyone else but I too have my gifts and talents to share. I want everyone to able to shine so how did I handle this situation? Not too well I’m afraid. I played nice, I played NOT nice, I ignored, I hid, and surprise nothing worked. I eventually left and the queen bee won and more servants for her team.

I found myself to be chief whiner/blamer/ and victim after this experience. I couldn’t understand why a simple thing I thought I learned at school -let’s aim to get along was ignored. Work isn’t school there are no teachers or parents to overrule or oversee the problems. Instead, it’s up to us. A women’s team is a perfect example as women we tear each other down instead of lifting each other up.

What did I learn from this experience?

1) Hierarchy can be normal and learning to find your place in that kind of arrangement is often necessary.

2) I learned how to heal my voice by learning from my peers on how I speak and I came across wasn’t always what I intended.

3) I developed my own leadership style that balanced my masculine and feminine sides. I then felt authentic instead of pretending to be nice, not nice, ignoring, or hiding.

4) Lastly, I learned how to transmute my difficult conversations and situations with ease.

I coach women daily on how to not just get along but how to find their strengths, use their talents and gifts so they don’t feel like servants or pawns in a nasty battle at work.

If you would like a free 30-minute consultation please feel free to connect with me at http://jeanniedougherty.com/contact/.

Introduction to My Website

3 Keys To Your Personal Happiness in Relationships

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